can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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