Just cropdusted the office
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
