if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
