she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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