He uses pillows to masturbate.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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