Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
wow bdsm is so cute
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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