she looked like the before picture.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Brb crying the tears of my youth
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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