...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
