lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
