your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
