DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
