is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
