Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize