I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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