And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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