I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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