Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
