I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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