it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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