This girl is more easily done than said...
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
