TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
