this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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