Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I forget how to act sober
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
