I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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