he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
