i think my tv is drunk
I CAN MOONWALK!
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
