I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
