If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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