Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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