I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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