like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
