You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
