I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
