I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
