im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
