Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
