i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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