Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
