Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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