his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
