your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
