How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
