man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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