Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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