I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
