chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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