can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
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