Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
