Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
