$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
